Day 6 and 7

January 19, 2010

Today Malena had a bad day. Malena was expected to have several weeks of bad days and we had not seen any of those until today and that is just fine with us. Because I was feeling better and my cold had subsided, I was able to hold Malena today. I was not able to feed her a bottle like Annabelle had done yesterday because she had vomited a few times because of it. Having Malena accept feedings is all apart of a CDH baby. Her intestines and organs have been surgically replace back into her abdomen and because it was replaced by a doctor and not naturally, her intestines will now need to learn how to process things. I can begin to express my feelings into words on how it felt to finally get to hold her little body in my arms. Because of all the wires and tubes I was a little nervous in handling her but I did just fine. The moment felt so natural and a feeling of fatherhood was solidified. I had intended on going back to work today but because she was having a difficult day I decided to take the rest of the day off. It is going to be so hard to return back to work tomorrow and concentrate while Annabelle visits her. I know that I will feel like I am missing out.

Matt

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